Fitness and Mental Health

You can be beautiful on the outside and still be a wreck on the inside.
In fact, sometimes the more we hurt on the inside, the more we’ll reach for things on the outside of us thinking it will help us feel better on the inside.
But the truth is, it doesn’t really work.
We can learn a lot by persuing goals and achievements outside of us. I think they help us feel motivated, direct our energy and attention, helps us feel good feelings about ourselves and see our positive sides more clearly.
But it doesn’t ever take away the hurt and pain or the anxiety or sadness or whatever else is there.
That’s something we can never goal-chase away.
And at the end of the day, whether a good day or bad, the pain will still be there.
And at the end of the goal, the hurting will still be there.
I had a wake up moment this last summer when I realized I had been in and out of depression almost the entire time since becoming a Mom.
I couldn’t remember exactly when it had started, maybe sometime after baby 2 or 3 was born.. maybe when the number of kids exceeded my husband and I.
But looking back, it had been there for quite a while.
When I found fitness…. It REALLY helped!! Running helped, grueling, heart pumping training helped.
It really changed me. It helped me grow soooo much stronger, become a better version of myself and was a HUGE distraction from the darkness.. the deep hole inside of me.
But it never fixed it.
After my competition, I felt myself deeper and darker than I had ever felt. I think the high of the super-focus is was an amazing relief from it all.
But my mental health took a huge toll from the nutrient deficiencies necessary for those kind of results. And I felt worse than ever.
I remember looking at this and other pictures after my competition and not wanting to post them because all I could see were my flaws and not good enoughs.
I’m sharing this because I want you to know, if this is you.. to any degree.. you are not alone. You are not the only one who feels like you do.
You also do not need to cover it up or chase it away or continue to strive for perfection on the outside thinking it will fix it.
In fact, sometimes the more we hurt on the inside, the more we’ll reach for things on the outside of us thinking it will help us feel better on the inside.
But the truth is, it doesn’t really work.
We can learn a lot by persuing goals and achievements outside of us. I think they help us feel motivated, direct our energy and attention, helps us feel good feelings about ourselves and see our positive sides more clearly.
But it doesn’t ever take away the hurt and pain or the anxiety or sadness or whatever else is there.
That’s something we can never goal-chase away.
And at the end of the day, whether a good day or bad, the pain will still be there.
And at the end of the goal, the hurting will still be there.
I had a wake up moment this last summer when I realized I had been in and out of depression almost the entire time since becoming a Mom.
I couldn’t remember exactly when it had started, maybe sometime after baby 2 or 3 was born.. maybe when the number of kids exceeded my husband and I.
But looking back, it had been there for quite a while.
When I found fitness…. It REALLY helped!! Running helped, grueling, heart pumping training helped.
It really changed me. It helped me grow soooo much stronger, become a better version of myself and was a HUGE distraction from the darkness.. the deep hole inside of me.
But it never fixed it.
After my competition, I felt myself deeper and darker than I had ever felt. I think the high of the super-focus is was an amazing relief from it all.
But my mental health took a huge toll from the nutrient deficiencies necessary for those kind of results. And I felt worse than ever.
I remember looking at this and other pictures after my competition and not wanting to post them because all I could see were my flaws and not good enoughs.
I’m sharing this because I want you to know, if this is you.. to any degree.. you are not alone. You are not the only one who feels like you do.
You also do not need to cover it up or chase it away or continue to strive for perfection on the outside thinking it will fix it.
You can just be you. Love you. Accept you. Know you are perfect just the way you are… even when you feel broken and not good enough.
And if I could give any advice… the advice that’s helped me more than anything…
It would be to start from the inside.. seek out healing from therapy, life coaching, nutrition and medical support and spiritual and mental healing 🙏🏻
Health and fitness and exercise will always be a part of me, my life, just who I am… but even though it helped, it never healed the mental, emotional and spiritual parts of me that needed healing.
Love yourself.
Know you are enough.
Because you truly are❤️
💜Tirza
And if I could give any advice… the advice that’s helped me more than anything…
It would be to start from the inside.. seek out healing from therapy, life coaching, nutrition and medical support and spiritual and mental healing 🙏🏻
Health and fitness and exercise will always be a part of me, my life, just who I am… but even though it helped, it never healed the mental, emotional and spiritual parts of me that needed healing.
Love yourself.
Know you are enough.
Because you truly are❤️
💜Tirza