Fasting... from Social Media

10/15/2018
This is my 10th day, after taking the social media fast challenge. Wow, what an interesting week, learned some things about myself, had some realizations and discovered some things I want to change moving forward.
Our church encouraged us to take this challenge... And I will say it was absolutely inspired, because I had decided to remove all social media apps from my phone right before hearing about it. So the timing couldn't have been better.
Lately I have felt blocked, stuck, discouraged and not able to focus on goals I have and tasks that are right in front of me. It's like I have been feeling constantly behind, overwhelmed and like my mind is almost always in chaos. Probably sounds crazy, right?? Absolutely YES!! I don't know how I have been living like that.
I am absolutely a doer, a mover, a person who LOVES getting things done.... But this overwhelm has been one I haven't quite been able to put my finger on. It's like on one hand... I absolutely LOVE MY LIFE and am SO GRATEFUL for all that I have, for all that I do and for my beautiful family! 
But on the other side of it, there have been some extremely low lows, and almost like this looming heavy darkness over my heart and mind, constantly telling me I'm not reaching my goals, I'm never going to be the person I want to become, or that I'm too late to the game for what I'm working on, or wanting to achieve. Or that I'll never be able to create what I want in my life and career. It literally has been driving me crazy!!
There have been some days in fact, that I have felt so low, I literally felt like I WAS WORTHLESS. Like "why would anyone care if I am even around?" Scary right?? YES!!! Absolutely! I didn't dwell on those thoughts, and I always combated them with positive thoughts,  taking action to fill my mind with empowerment and personal development, and I kept working so hard to be more pro-active in the good things in my life....
But I literally feel like after these 10 full days, of complete disconnect.... That I have not had anyof those feelings.... In fact, I journaled a quick entry every day about my feelings. I wrote about how I felt... And even though a couple of days I had a rough day, I did not feel any of those feelings. I felt much more happy, peaceful and clear about my life.



Day 1: realized how messy and chaotic and unhappy my life felt. Wanted to clean everything. Figure out why I felt so unhappy and make changes!
Day 2: So productive! Got everything on my list that day done, including all of the laundry put away. Felt so peaceful throughout the day. Spent FHE time with the family. Went to bed feeling happy and fulfilled 
Day 3: Woke up feeling so happy and grateful!! Almost an overflowing joyful feeling. Do miss sharing my messages, thoughts and takeaways with my online audience and followers. Kept catching myself wanting to share a podcast to my Facebook groups, write a post, etc. Listened to the life water guy with Rachel Hollis podcast..... we are so freaking blessed!!! Heard the suggestion.... “Create before you consume” when it comes to social media
Day 4: woke up really missing my Instagram, posting, sharing... listened to a podcast yesterday about how social media can steal away our energy and creativity if we are not make a conscious effort to create before we consume.... I definitely feel like I could improve in this area... but also realize how much I really love to post and share and create. How much it’s an outlet for me. Ended up feeling a bit frustrated and moody by end of day. Realizing it’s an outlet for me to relax and entertain
Day 5. Mixed emotions today. Lots of ideas, wanting to post and share. Realizing how much I look at myself, analyze my likes and my growth and focus way to much on how much attention I get. 
Also miss posting and contributing. Realizing social media is such an outlet for me to express my thoughts and ideas.
Been a little short and grumpy with my kids at moments the last two days. Don’t love that 
Realized how many steps I’m procrastinating... waiting until I can move foreword perfectly... or continuing to compare myself to others. Felt myself diving deeper into thoughts and ideas. Later in the day, felt more present moments with helping my kids out when they needed something, planning activities, etc. 
Day 6: a world of emotions today. Sad, weepy, grumpy, angry and rebel!! Just an overall hard day, Ready to make some changes!!
Day 7: realized how many less pictures I take 😆 feeling more present in the moments. Realizing what a time sucker social has been for me. Filling in all of the cracks of my day, a little here, a little there, etc. feeling so at peace and on track with where I am right now as a mom, a person and in my growth towards business/career.
Realizing how social somehow makes me feel constantly behind. Either in planning a vacation, a trip, an outing, in the community, events that are happening, or holidays and even church stuff. Always feeling behind and slightly guilty....but didn’t really know why Felt peaceful and calm while preparing my lesson for church. Felt like I could focus better and soak in the teachings better 
Thought: would we still do the same things we do if it weren’t for social media? How often are we influenced to make a certain choice based on what we are seeing and taking in?
Day 8: felt like I got more out of church and felt more present with the family after church. (Typically the time of day that I get on and scroll for a long time after church)
Found myself looking through our old family blogs and even started my health and fitness blog I’ve been wanting to start forever!
Day 9: overall a good day. Felt happy and peaceful, took the boys to get a couple of Halloween items. Chatted and talked with them in the car. Cuddled with Blake and watched a movie. Worked on my blog a little. Finished all of my todos. 😊
Day 10: so peaceful and grateful today. Feel like I’m starting to notice so many more things outside of social media. Beauty around me, the sunshine, the snow on the mountains. Feeling so many loving feelings towards Brad. I just want to be spending time with him, talking, loving him and helping and encouraging him with his business and all that he has going on. 


 
I think one of the biggest things I realized over this time away, is the sheer amount of information I’ve been consuming everyday... between groups, videos, friends.... all good things, but it got to the point where I felt like I could never really finish anything... always doing things part way and feeling behind and mentally frustrated.
 
What I missed the most? Sharing, posting and My AMAZING FRIENDS I've met on social media. What I missed least? Feeling overwhelmed and bombarded with info. Like notifications, videos, groups, something someone suggested I listen to, or join in with, etc.
 
I've been trying to decide moving forward.... and I think I will just keep the apps off of my phone and only check in form my computer on certain days/ times that I set aside for it. Rather than just allowing social to suck time out of my day throughout the day without me really being aware of it.... Either way, excited for all I have learned, the peace I've felt, and the changes I'm going to be making moving forward! Have you done this? What was your experience? 

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